Sitting here Sunday morning listening to worship music, Nicole dancing in the background, Lauren chillin' and Maria enjoying her time at Aunt Erin's; my mind stirs with emotion and longing. Why is it that I feel soooo at home here, like I belong here, yet I know Martin feels nothing of the same. Yesterday as I worked in the garden, the girls playing in the yard, my thoughts stirred again. I have so much purpose here. Sharing with my sisters (in laws too), working for my parents, and for Erin. I could have a seasonal job here, My girls could be growing up along side their cousins, going to school with them!!
This past week all three girls have struggled with home sickness, they have talked about the things they miss from home and they have all felt physically sick in some way. Their home is in Dartmouth, NS. To them, here, at grandma and grandpa's is a time of visiting, enjoying cousins, aunts, uncles, friends. They look forward to going home, to playing with their toys, reading their books, going to their church, and beginning school in their city! Dartmouth Nova Scotia is all they know. I will enjoy this time here, where I grew up, then I go back to not only the girls home, but mine, Martin's, knowing I can come again to visit, enjoy, soak in the country, the memories, new and old.
Nicole having a ride with Uncle Dan
Maria having a ride with Grandpa
Lauren having some of her own fun!
I think of all the accomplishments and good stuff Martin is doing in Nova Scotia, opportunities he wouldn't have in Ontario. Together we will raise our girls, develop real estate, and support each other in the opportunities that come to each of us. I know that Martin will continue to show patience and understanding when I struggle with homesickness and depression, gently reassuring me that where we are is God's plan, as he feels so strongly about. Thank you Martin for that.
Oh Emily -- I can relate to all you say here. We moved away from our families in BC when Jocelyn was only 4 months old (she's now almost 11). We thought we'd be in Halifax for only a few years and then move back to BC. I always pictured myself seeing my sister a lot, cousins together, visiting my mom with the kids etc. But God had other plans. We were in Halifax for almost 6 years and I still always longed for "home". We then were in Barrie for 1 year and I still longed for "home". We've now been in Burlington for 4 years and I finally don't long for "home". In fact, I finally don't consider BC "home" but rather Burlington is home. I think as the girls got older it got easier. We are now connected into a great school community that I wouldn't dream of leaving and a great church community (which I know you have too :). I think that once the kids are older they become your "home" and somehow you get more connected, have more freedom. And yes, our kids only really know Burlington as home. Thankfully, we get out to BC every couple of years (often more!) and we have our parents come and visit often.
ReplyDeleteI hope you start to feel a sense of peace about where you are and what your purpose is. My heart flopped as I read your words 'cause your words would have been my words 4 or 5 years ago. You have three beautiful little girls and you are doing a great job being their mom!
All the best -- Pam